When a cow shits, it stinks at first, but if you leave it alone, a crust forms over the outside and it stops stinking.
But if you stir it up, it starts stinking again.
And the more you stir it, the more it stinks.
How is this a happiness hint? Shit happens, right? Shitty things happy to us and it stinks. We don’t like it. It hurts, but if we deal with it, then stop thinking about it, it stops stinking. But if we keep going over and over it in our mind, we’re stirring the shit and it keeps stinking. Every time we run through the events that caused the shit, we’re making it stink again.
Recognise the pattern. Here’s an example.
You had an argument with someone. They said some mean things about you. Things that aren’t true. Maybe it was a friend who threatened never to see you again, or a boss who threatened to sack you, whatever it was, it left you angry, or one of it’s smaller cousins, irritated or annoyed. If you relax about it and let it pass – the event is over, right? – the irritation will eventually dissolve, (remember the clouds in the sky analogy) but every time you go over the details in your mind – he said this and that and even that, the bastard. How could he say those things about me. He’s a creep. I hate him, etc etc – you’re remembering the event and stirring up the emotions that went with it.
You might think, ‘it’s not over. I’m going to finish this.’ Fine, then do what you have to do to finish with it, but once you’ve done that (and it might be as simple as apologising – yeah, you can do that, even if it wasn’t your fault), leave it alone, or it will start stinking again.
How do you stop thinking about it? Here’s some ideas.
- Do something you like doing that will take your mind of it.
- Honk out your frustration, then breathe out a gentle honk, then carry on silent honking
- Meditate. I recommend the What Meditation Really Is website for excellent and free online instruction. I even have a post up there.
Does this make sense to you? What other ways do you know to help you move on from a bad day?
I have to confess that I like the smell of cow manure. It reminds me of farms and spring. In first grade we were asked to draw pictures of something that smelled nice and the teacher called my mom in for a conference to make sure I wasn’t being sarcastic. This analogy led me to wonder if there are some folks who like to stir up the shit because they like conflict. I think some folks think they can only be happy if they are miserable.
Nice to see you here, Andrea, and I think you have a really good point. It’s like one of the kids at school who said to me once – don’t I have the choice to be bad? He preferred taking that route and all the shit that went with it, than trying to moderate his behaviour and make life easier for himself. LOL about the teacher calling in your mum.
Tahlia, it does make sense. Further, if you let the shit alone, it eventually feeds the earth, and propagates growth. Likewise, if we “let it be” and learn from what happened, we too, can grow.
Glad you mentioned that, Richard. Remembering that shit becomes manure helps us to see the good part in the bad stuff, ie that we can learn from it.
I loved the fact that you even included pictures – great visuals, there, my friend.
I agree. Going over the mistakes and reliving it in your memory sucks, and it’s useless! Doing so a couple of times might even make you more agitated. Like, in the first memory it was all a blur, but when you relived it again, you might even remember the details like, “And he said I was mean…” blah blah.
Thanks for visiting my site, by the way. I appreciate that.
You’re right, on reflection it gets worse. And thanks for visiting us here. We all like guests, don’t we. No one wants to talk into a vacum and gee it’s great to find like minded folk.
Tahlia … HONK!
Happy to meet you via our blogs, and I’m going to grab a carload of dear friends on a blustery, wild October day and drive to the nearest lake for a huge honkfest!
Yes, shit becomes compost if we let it be, and from compost comes new life, nourishment, and beauty
Amazing, isn’t it? … and speaking of cow shit, here’s a joke … http://bit.ly/j5TFMv
Hi Jaliya. I love the idea of a Honkfest, especially a huge one. The joke is brilliant, thanks for the link. I’m goinna send that around.
Yes, I see. But… There’s always a but… (no pun intended). Stir and stir and stir and it breaks up forever smaller and smaller and exposes every single crumb of it to awareness. And then, it is no more in present, nor lurking in the background of history with a crust suppressing it. Nothing is forever, if we don’t bury it too deeply..
Yes, there is that way too. I think it’s the same as turning it into compost, breaking it down so that it composts quicker, then there’s no way it will ever stink again, but I think it needs a deeper awareness to start with to avoid getting trapped in endless round-a-bouts of emotion. It’s like, the lake must be still and the water clear before you can see the bottom. This is at the level of making the lake still and clear. Breaking it into crumbs of awareness can come once you can see the bottom without being in danger of stirring up the mud again.
This is not suggesting suppression. It’s suggesting not endulging. They aren’t the same thing. We’re talking about the middle way, neither suppressing not indulging.
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