When a cow shits, it stinks at first, but if you leave it alone, a crust forms over the outside and it stops stinking.
But if you stir it up, it starts stinking again.
And the more you stir it, the more it stinks.
How is this a happiness hint? Shit happens, right? Shitty things happy to us and it stinks. We don’t like it. It hurts, but if we deal with it, then stop thinking about it, it stops stinking. But if we keep going over and over it in our mind, we’re stirring the shit and it keeps stinking. Every time we run through the events that caused the shit, we’re making it stink again.
Recognise the pattern. Here’s an example.
You had an argument with someone. They said some mean things about you. Things that aren’t true. Maybe it was a friend who threatened never to see you again, or a boss who threatened to sack you, whatever it was, it left you angry, or one of it’s smaller cousins, irritated or annoyed. If you relax about it and let it pass – the event is over, right? – the irritation will eventually dissolve, (remember the clouds in the sky analogy) but every time you go over the details in your mind – he said this and that and even that, the bastard. How could he say those things about me. He’s a creep. I hate him, etc etc – you’re remembering the event and stirring up the emotions that went with it.
You might think, ‘it’s not over. I’m going to finish this.’ Fine, then do what you have to do to finish with it, but once you’ve done that (and it might be as simple as apologising – yeah, you can do that, even if it wasn’t your fault), leave it alone, or it will start stinking again.
How do you stop thinking about it? Here’s some ideas.
- Do something you like doing that will take your mind of it.
- Honk out your frustration, then breathe out a gentle honk, then carry on silent honking
- Meditate. I recommend the What Meditation Really Is website for excellent and free online instruction. I even have a post up there.
Does this make sense to you? What other ways do you know to help you move on from a bad day?